He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
God, I missed his penis.
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