Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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