spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
