Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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