come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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