ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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