Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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