She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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