this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
