I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
