my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
