So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
