I just cut my nipple shaving
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
honey bunches of taint.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
