we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
