Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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