We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
