Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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