i don't like sucking hair
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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