If that was your dad, he is hot
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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