This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
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Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
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I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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