i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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