If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
