Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
