we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
