God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
there is another microwave in the elevator.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
