Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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