id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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