Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
