You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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