so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Let's get the cat blown out
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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