So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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