Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
