Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
