she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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