she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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