Whatcha textin bout Willis?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
