I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
