After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
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