Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
