you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
