Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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