i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
