I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
