Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
