I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
