she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
