Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize