Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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