Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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