My hand turned me down
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize