How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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