I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Randomize
