Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
