i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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