somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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