she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
