Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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