just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
