After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
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He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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