Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
