I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
His nipple licking is glorious
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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