is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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