I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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