okay pat passed out under dana's car
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
