margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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