: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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