i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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