Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
