Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
