Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm at about main and main street
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
